{"id":4307,"date":"2014-09-08T11:12:49","date_gmt":"2014-09-08T15:12:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4307"},"modified":"2014-09-08T11:12:49","modified_gmt":"2014-09-08T15:12:49","slug":"written-in-blood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4307","title":{"rendered":"Written in Blood"},"content":{"rendered":"

Church was good, but when I left I felt oddly lost.\u00a0 It was like I had dropped all the psychic stuff I\u2019ve been processing.\u00a0 When I got home I didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 Finally I had lunch, did a dump run, and went to Neskaya to scan and print the writing in blood.<\/p>\n

Something I don\u2019t usually share when I talk about Journey Into Courage<\/a> is my monologue for the \u201cFear\u201d section.\u00a0 I used to cut myself with razorblades.\u00a0 When I looked back to see what was happening in my life, I realized it was the late 60\u2019s and we were at war in Vietnam.\u00a0 I identified with the soldiers.\u00a0 I created a script where I was writing in my journal.\u00a0 I had the music of Simon & Garfunkle (Sounds of Silence, I am a Rock) in the background.\u00a0 I mimed actually cutting myself and writing with the blood.\u00a0 Part of the structure that Bess created for Journey was that we would have an object that represented our abuse in the first set of monologues, and we would throw it in a garbage can as part of the Courage section.\u00a0 I think I still have the notebook I used, but the razor blade is long gone.<\/p>\n

This is a writing in blood.\u00a0 It was probably written in 1969.\u00a0 The words are from Rilke\u2019s First Duino Elegy.\u00a0 \u201cWho, if I cried out, would hear me amid the hosts of angels…\u201d\u00a0 I do not know whose translation it is.\u00a0 I learned it from a friend.\u00a0 A later part of the same elegy begins: \u201cOught not these oldest sufferings of ours to be yielding more fruit by now?\u201d\u00a0 These quotations spoke to the depth of my pain.<\/p>\n

\"EPSON<\/a><\/p>\n

Went home and worked on the Journey booklet.\u00a0 Re-formatted the poems<\/a>, wrote a page for the blood writing.\u00a0 Printed them out.\u00a0 Cut out the copies of the blood writing.\u00a0 (Now I have to tape it back onto the big autobiography page.)\u00a0 Trimmed and punched all the pages.\u00a0 Next step is to glue the pictures.\u00a0 I want to take it to Erica.<\/p>\n

One of the last lines of the Poem “Blood and Stone” is:<\/p>\n

Mommy and Daddy, if I cut myself and wrote you in blood
\nwould you listen?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Church was good, but when I left I felt oddly lost.\u00a0 It was like I had dropped all the psychic stuff I\u2019ve been processing.\u00a0 When I got home I didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 Finally I had lunch, did a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-present-day","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}