Someone told me recently that she thought I should forgive my mom.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been thinking about that.\u00a0 I\u2019ve forgiven her many times and then later found that some tight cramp in my psyche was still there.\u00a0 Recently I\u2019ve been thinking of her with compassion.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know she was damaging me.\u00a0 Although I\u2019ve heard of research which proves that someone know when they\u2019re lying, deep down inside.\u00a0 This may have been one of the sources of my mother\u2019s drinking.\u00a0 When I think of the pain that she was in denial of, and how much she had to drink to keep the truth from surfacing, I feel enormous compassion for her.\u00a0 Is that the same as forgiveness?\u00a0 I guess I have got to the place where I don\u2019t think of PTSD as something to blame mom for, instead I see it as an entirely separate thing which is part of my shamanic training.\u00a0 I wish that I had got farther with that training, that I had been able to do something bigger for the earth and all her people.\u00a0 Instead I\u2019m spending my time, energy, and passion in my quest for healing.\u00a0 Sometimes I can see that even that healing work is not something entirely selfish, but actually DOES help that earth in a shamanic way.\u00a0 Right now I can\u2019t see anything to forgive mom for.\u00a0 I guess that is true forgiveness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Someone told me recently that she thought I should forgive my mom.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been thinking about that.\u00a0 I\u2019ve forgiven her many times and then later found that some tight cramp in my psyche was still there.\u00a0 Recently I\u2019ve been thinking … Continue reading