{"id":4248,"date":"2014-06-28T17:27:11","date_gmt":"2014-06-28T21:27:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4248"},"modified":"2014-07-05T08:58:46","modified_gmt":"2014-07-05T12:58:46","slug":"changing-medication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4248","title":{"rendered":"Changing Medication"},"content":{"rendered":"

Some friends were worried because I’ve been going up and down a lot, and sometimes badly depressed. So I called Bill Cote, and he said he would prescribe Lamotrigine<\/a>, which is a mood stabilizer. \u00a0I decided it was worth a try, so I started with 25mg on May 9.<\/p>\n

Saturday
\nI\u2019m feeling a little strange.\u00a0 It\u2019s not bad.\u00a0 I suppose this is to be expected after a taking a psychoactive drug.\u00a0 It will probably wear off as I go on taking it.\u00a0 Or I\u2019ll get used to it.\u00a0 One day at a time.<\/p>\n

Sunday
\nAgain hard to wake up.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like the way I feel, and the way I felt yesterday.\u00a0 It\u2019s like Spirit is gone from the world, everything is flat and empty.\u00a0 People are ugly and stupid and doing meaningless things.\u00a0 I hope it\u2019s not the medication.
\nI was thinking about the story I told Jan, of how Jesus rescued all the people in hell, and a rabbit appeared at the door, stuck his head up, made a funny noise, jumped up on the screen, then disappeared.\u00a0 I choose to believe that\u2019s a message from Spirit.\u00a0 Thank you!\u00a0 Rabbit has to do with being quiet and listening, listening to intuition, alert to what\u2019s around.<\/p>\n

Monday
\nThird day on Lamotrigine.\u00a0 I am so tired.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to get up and hard to wake up.\u00a0 It\u2019s too painful to be in a world without Spirit, so I\u2019m going to choose to trust that Spirit is still there, and for some reason \u2014 possibly connected with the medication, or my fear of the medication \u2014 I\u2019m not being able to connect right now.\u00a0 Last night Jan said there was plenty of Spirit in the world.\u00a0 Mostly she talked about people who were doing good things.\u00a0 It was good to see her.<\/p>\n

Tuesday
\nYesterday I made a decision to trust that my life matters, that Spirit exists.\u00a0 I started feeling better.\u00a0 This morning that indescribable something is out there in the trees, and all around me.\u00a0 Thank god.\u00a0 What in my body tells me that?\u00a0 I can\u2019t find anything.\u00a0 Maybe there\u2019s a little relaxation on some deep level, but I\u2019m not aware of it.\u00a0 Maybe the whole thing was in my head.<\/p>\n

Sunday
\nSo I\u2019m standing there, counting out my vitamins, and I start to cry.\u00a0 I say \u201cPlease, God, help me\u201d several times.\u00a0 Then I feel a presence, and the knowledge comes: \u201cThis is a process and it will take a while.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cGo on as you have been.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhat you are doing is just fine.\u201d \u00a0 Thank you.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some friends were worried because I’ve been going up and down a lot, and sometimes badly depressed. So I called Bill Cote, and he said he would prescribe Lamotrigine, which is a mood stabilizer. \u00a0I decided it was worth a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,11,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4248","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression","category-present-day","category-spirit"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4248","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4248"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4248\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4248"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4248"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4248"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}