Dusting of snow.\u00a0 Just below freezing.\u00a0 Pretty totally discouraged.\u00a0 Driving home last night I could feel how angry I was at myself (Eve said she picked up on it) and I was able to be OK with being angry.\u00a0 But this morning I feel stuck and angry and discouraged.\u00a0 Can I be OK with that?\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s how I am now.\u00a0 Can I bring compassion to it?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Can I be OK with not being able to bring compassion?\u00a0 Yes it\u2019s how I am.\u00a0 Broken.\u00a0 One of the bozos on the bus.\u00a0 I think there must be a lot of people out there who feel just like me: depressed, discouraged, not knowing how they will keep going.\u00a0 But they aren\u2019t trying to be compassionate about it.\u00a0 But there must be some of those out there too, people who are trying to find compassion in the midst of misery.\u00a0 I feel a softening when I think of them.\u00a0 Sisters in Misery.\u00a0 I think, can I just sit here, with this tangle of negative feelings and not try to change it?\u00a0 My shoulders relax.<\/p>\n
What do I know?
\n1) that I haven\u2019t wasted my life
\n2) that the source of the Universe is spiritual
\nWould it really make any difference if I stopped trying to make things change?
\n3) that I\u2019ve done the best I can and that\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s actually above freezing out there.\u00a0 Sky is grey.\u00a0 I can just keep on keeping on.\u00a0 Reading, typing journal, playing Solitaire, hauling wood, washing dishes, etc.\u00a0 I did want to do a post for Break the Chain.\u00a0 And I wanted to do one from the day Eve called me in tears and I was able to feel the compassion for her that I couldn\u2019t feel for myself.<\/p>\n
Pray for those who are discouraged and depressed and don\u2019t know how they\u2019re going to go on.<\/p>\n
Eve said that despite my feeling depressed and discouraged, she could see the one who was not.\u00a0 I suppose, if that\u2019s true, that I could still be doing good in the world, despite feeling so hopeless and helpless.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I\u2019m feeling bottom-of-the-pit hopeless.\u00a0 Can you help me?
\nDear Jenny, relax.\u00a0 You are trying too hard.\u00a0 You are trying to live up<\/i><\/p>\n
\u2014 Jane just came with food.\u00a0 I cried & said I was doing really badly.\u00a0 She said she saw me as a person who reaches out to others.\u00a0 She said my tears were seeds that would bring forth goodness some time in the future. \u2014<\/p>\n
That was guidance, breaking right into my life.\u00a0 And it\u2019s true that I\u2019m trying to live up to some pathologically high expectation.\u00a0 Let it go.\u00a0 Be lazy, be bad, do \u201cnothing.\u201d\u00a0 Do paintings that are like Tink\u2019s mosaics.\u00a0 Collages!<\/p>\n
“bozos on the bus” is from Joan Borysenko<\/a>, Fire in the Soul Dusting of snow.\u00a0 Just below freezing.\u00a0 Pretty totally discouraged.\u00a0 Driving home last night I could feel how angry I was at myself (Eve said she picked up on it) and I was able to be OK with being angry.\u00a0 But … Continue reading
\n“Tink’s mosaics” are from Broken for You<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"