{"id":4034,"date":"2013-10-31T10:23:59","date_gmt":"2013-10-31T14:23:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4034"},"modified":"2013-10-31T10:23:59","modified_gmt":"2013-10-31T14:23:59","slug":"taking-care-of-myself-is-my-god-given-task","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=4034","title":{"rendered":"Taking Care of Myself IS my God-given Task"},"content":{"rendered":"

For about the last five days I\u2019ve been pretty bummed out and discouraged with myself for being stuck in depression.\u00a0 Lynelle was able to help me shift it.\u00a0 She told me that taking care of myself is my first priority.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to listen to her, I was feeling very strongly that Jenny wasn\u2019t worth taking care of.\u00a0 But I did remember times when I understood that Jenny, troublesome as she is, is my God-given task.\u00a0 Finally I was able to relax and accept it, it felt like a bunch of disorganized blocks fell into place. \u00a0Then I was able to be OK with my current depression.\u00a0 I see now that I was angry at myself for not being able to do anything that was visible, exciting, worthwhile.\u00a0 Once Lynelle helped me see it, I was able to let that go, and accept that taking care of myself, working to heal myself is<\/span> my God-given task, is my vocation along with the parallel vocation which is Neskaya.<\/p>\n

Looking back, I see that I had tried to see myself, knowing that one possibility was that I was angry at myself for being depressed, but it didn\u2019t resonate, didn\u2019t bring that relaxing, connecting sensation which means \u201cOf course.\u201d\u00a0 It took Lynelle\u2019s help for me to see that I wasn\u2019t so much angry at myself for being depressed, I was angry \u2014 maybe even partly with God \u2014 that I wasn\u2019t doing anything \u201cworthwhile.\u201d\u00a0 I have been begging god to show me what I\u2019m supposed to be doing, and I can imagine God, very exasperated, saying: \u201cThe synchronicity of the Hospice training wasn\u2019t enough?\u00a0 Barry suggesting a depression support group wasn\u2019t enough?\u00a0 It\u2019s a problem that you don\u2019t have anything immediate?\u00a0 Patience, my dear Jenny, patience<\/span>.\u201d\u00a0 Shall I laugh or cry?<\/p>\n

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For about the last five days I\u2019ve been pretty bummed out and discouraged with myself for being stuck in depression.\u00a0 Lynelle was able to help me shift it.\u00a0 She told me that taking care of myself is my first priority.\u00a0 … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,5,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression","category-healing","category-present-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4034\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}