{"id":3901,"date":"2013-08-25T13:02:42","date_gmt":"2013-08-25T17:02:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3901"},"modified":"2013-08-25T13:02:43","modified_gmt":"2013-08-25T17:02:43","slug":"how-depression-makes-life-harder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3901","title":{"rendered":"How Depression Makes Life Harder"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Written in April 2009 during the Training in Women\u2019s Ritual Dance, given at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.neskaya.com\" target=\"_blank\">Neskaya<\/a> by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.laurashannon.net\/\" target=\"_blank\">Laura Shannon<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>I feel so much grief and anger that I haven\u2019t been able to participate and enjoy these days with this group of women.\u00a0 I\u2019m afraid the anger is directed at myself \u2014 for not being stronger, or more courageous, or something.\u00a0 Laura says we can make a choice \u2014 but I don\u2019t see any choices, or only limited ones.\u00a0 I can, and do, choose to be present to my experience, I can and do choose to extend compassion to myself in my suffering.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see how to turn depression and terror into positive energy for living.<\/p>\n<p>This morning I was saying how bad I felt that I wasn\u2019t able to participate more and Laura said \u201cYou are present with your vulnerable broken heart, and you are taking care of yourself, and you are a model for all of us.\u201d Her support has helped a lot.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Take a big step back.\u00a0 Here\u2019s this woman, who at great personal cost built and subsidizes a building that is a healing sanctuary where magical things can happen.\u00a0 We just completed a training for women in becoming in touch with their own power, in energizing themselves from the powers of nature, of the living earth, and using this power for good in the world.\u00a0 Not in her wildest dreams could the visionary who built the building have imagined such a fulfillment of her vision.\u00a0 It was the perfect embodiment of all she hoped for.\u00a0 But the woman herself, for mysterious reasons probably connected to childhood trauma, was unable to fully participate, appreciate, and enjoy the event she had made possible.\u00a0 Can I feel compassion for her?\u00a0 At least it seems to have dissolved the anger, all I feel now is sadness.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Written in April 2009 during the Training in Women\u2019s Ritual Dance, given at Neskaya by Laura Shannon. I feel so much grief and anger that I haven\u2019t been able to participate and enjoy these days with this group of women.\u00a0 &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3901\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3901","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3901","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3901"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3901\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3901"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3901"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3901"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}