{"id":3674,"date":"2013-04-15T12:25:48","date_gmt":"2013-04-15T16:25:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3674"},"modified":"2013-04-15T12:41:40","modified_gmt":"2013-04-15T16:41:40","slug":"abandonment-trauma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3674","title":{"rendered":"Abandonment Trauma"},"content":{"rendered":"

Saturday I went to a workshop with Sal Rachele<\/a>.\u00a0 He did some guided meditations.\u00a0 One of them helped me get back in touch with that feeling of being supported by the universe.\u00a0 So of course I was feeling enough better to have an old problem resurface.\u00a0 It has to do with being abandoned, usually by a man, but sometimes by a woman I was close to and thought I could trust.\u00a0 I went back to read my journal for 2005, which was the last time this thing was triggered really badly, and I see that I\u2019ve increased enormously in resiliency.\u00a0 I\u2019m rebounding much faster!<\/p>\n

(Written in April 2005)<\/p>\n

Feeling sick and sad.\u00a0 A huge hollow in my heart and tears in my eyes.\u00a0 I was able to sleep last night, and I was able to hold myself compassionately, but it feels so lonely \u2014 I so desperately want someone else to care about me that way.\u00a0 This feels a lot like the week or two before Shenanigan died.\u00a0 Oratorium playing \u2014 the music that helped with my pain about the divorce, taking it up into a larger context.<\/p>\n

Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, my heart is hurting so much.\u00a0 Please help me.<\/p>\n

Dear Jenny, we love you a lot and so do many other people.\u00a0 You are doing well with this grief, staying open to it.\u00a0 What you are really letting go of is not a relationship but an expectation.\u00a0 You will still have the relationship.\u00a0 Stay with the pain.\u00a0 There is another side, a new place to get to, that will be deeper and richer and worth the pain.\u00a0 Do not fear grief but stay open to it, it has lots to teach you.\u00a0 Don\u2019t forget that we love you and support you and surround you.\u00a0 Let your painful heart rest on the Ocean of Compassion.<\/em><\/p>\n

I\u2019m feeling sick and sad and cold and scared.\u00a0 I can remember feeling like this at other times \u2014 usually when disappointed by a man.\u00a0 I think this is not so much fear of abandonment as it is the condition of abandonment.\u00a0 Having been abandoned.\u00a0 I see that frightened little kid, sitting on the rock by the road and hoping someone will rescue her.<\/p>\n

Oratorium in Memory of the Victims of the Armenian Genocide of 1915<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saturday I went to a workshop with Sal Rachele.\u00a0 He did some guided meditations.\u00a0 One of them helped me get back in touch with that feeling of being supported by the universe.\u00a0 So of course I was feeling enough better … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3674","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-guidance","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3674","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3674"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3674\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3674"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3674"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3674"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}