{"id":3619,"date":"2013-03-14T11:38:44","date_gmt":"2013-03-14T15:38:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3619"},"modified":"2013-09-11T14:09:00","modified_gmt":"2013-09-11T18:09:00","slug":"broken-self-image","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3619","title":{"rendered":"Broken Self-image"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Thinking about being molested and raped, I realized how much it affected my self-image.\u00a0 I felt dirty and ugly, slimy and sleazy.\u00a0 I felt like this defective toy who didn\u2019t deserve anything better than sleazy men, who would never attract any decent men.\u00a0 Of course, that\u2019s who I thought I <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">was<\/span>, when it was really what I had learned from how I was treated.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I found out about how children of alcoholics learn dysfunctional behavior, they \u2014 we \u2014 aren\u2019t born defective, but we are majorly affected by what others do to us.\u00a0 This was all happening on a foundation of trauma.\u00a0 <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Common-Shock-Witnessing-Violence-Day-How\/dp\/0525947426\" target=\"_blank\">Kaethe Weingarten, in Common Shock<\/a>, describes how trauma breaks the comforting world view from a healthy childhood: the Universe is benevolent, life is meaningful, the self is worthy.\u00a0 After trauma, the universe is malevolent, life is meaningless, and the self is unworthy.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Dance! break the rules<br \/>\nDance! stop the pain<br \/>\nDance! turn it upside down<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s time to BREAK THE CHAIN!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Thinking about being molested and raped, I realized how much it affected my self-image.\u00a0 I felt dirty and ugly, slimy and sleazy.\u00a0 I felt like this defective toy who didn\u2019t deserve anything better than sleazy men, who would never attract &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3619\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,5,19,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-depression","category-healing","category-interesting-link","category-present-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3619","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3619"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3619\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3619"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3619"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3619"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}