{"id":3610,"date":"2013-03-13T14:16:53","date_gmt":"2013-03-13T18:16:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3610"},"modified":"2013-03-13T14:16:53","modified_gmt":"2013-03-13T18:16:53","slug":"happy-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3610","title":{"rendered":"Happy!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been really happy lately.\u00a0 It\u2019s the ugliest time of the year with piles of dirty snow, dead grass, all the garbage reappearing.\u00a0 It\u2019s even uglier when the snow is all gone, and it\u2019s still cold, and the wind blows sand and dust around.\u00a0 And I\u2019m perfectly content with what is!\u00a0 After being badly depressed through the belly of the winter, to feel this happy and contented is a miracle.\u00a0 I know it started with the talk about Journey into Courage<\/a> at the UU and its good reception, and reminding myself of that piece of work that I was part of.\u00a0 A big piece of work that changed lives, changed the world, and is still going on doing good.\u00a0 Then the One Billion Rising<\/a> and feeling part of a huge global movement.\u00a0 Especially learning the dance.\u00a0 That music and dance have brought me up whenever I started to feel a little blue.\u00a0 I also remembered that my father had molested me when I was twelve, and I had been orally raped by a date when I was sixteen.\u00a0 I don\u2019t usually think about those events at all, and I don\u2019t think I ever actually cleared them from my psyche.\u00a0 That little bit of darkness has been there until I started breaking the chain, over and over and feeling like I was performing a ritual, and it worked!\u00a0 That chain is completely broken!
\nAnother big thing was recognizing the pattern of sabotaging my success, and then having successes \u2014 Journey into Courage and Break the Chain<\/a> \u2014 and not losing them.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever had a difficulty that just vanished when I named it.\u00a0 O but I\u2019ve been working on this one a long time.\u00a0 I remember the moment when I learned that it was OK to feel good about myself in the women\u2019s retreat back in the middle 70\u2019s.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been struggling with that issue for almost 40 years.\u00a0 Maybe the pattern of not letting myself feel good about a successful event has had the last little support piece knocked out, like dismantling a huge structure, painstakingly removing pieces \u2014 until one day I remove a crucial piece and the whole thing comes crashing down.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been really happy lately.\u00a0 It\u2019s the ugliest time of the year with piles of dirty snow, dead grass, all the garbage reappearing.\u00a0 It\u2019s even uglier when the snow is all gone, and it\u2019s still cold, and the wind blows … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,5,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-activism","category-healing","category-present-day"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3610"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3610\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}