The session with Caryn was pretty amazing.\u00a0 This is where Somatic Experiencing becomes shamanic work.\u00a0 I wedged my self into my corner and started crying.\u00a0 I told her about being depressed again again, waking up OK only to lose it when I listened to a friend\u2019s negativity and how there was nothing inside me to let me know when I\u2019d had enough.\u00a0 I told her about Kayla emphasizing the \u201c100% commitment\u201d and how it threw me into confusion: should I just take care of myself? or try to \u201cmarket\u201d the slide show? or go into my studio and make art?\u00a0 Caryn said the first step is finding the resource, rebuilding it again and again.\u00a0 This is something I have learned how to do.\u00a0 I needed Caryn\u2019s help at first, but I can (and MUST) practice on my own.\u00a0 She said some wonderful amazing things: that building the resource and then just staying with that energy, \u201ccultivating and consecrating\u201d it, and bringing forth wisdom from it, that is my job as an elder.\u00a0 I remember a long time ago she said I should sit with people who were dying because my energy would be comforting to them.\u00a0 How could she know that?\u00a0 I can\u2019t imagine that just my presence would be comforting to anybody.\u00a0 But now I\u2019m understanding this might be true.\u00a0 She said she was \u201cchanneling\u201d and then I understood where the sense of authority came from.\u00a0 So I wish I had the exact words, but I do think I got the essence of it.<\/p>\n
Notes written during the session:
\nRemember to rebuild the connections over and over.<\/p>\n
Instead of making myself wrong, let myself grieve the things I didn\u2019t get to do.<\/p>\n
When I want to do something, but haven\u2019t got enough energy, what if, instead of beating on myself, I was able to empower myself and imagine the matrix which is the appropriate use of my energy & imagination as an elder, and to cultivate the wisdom of my life experience.<\/p>\n
Consecrate and cultivate what energy I have left, by feeling it in my body, in my imagination, heart, and thoughts.<\/p>\n
100% commitment to this<\/span> process<\/span><\/p>\n I need to keep re-aligning myself with the creative life force\u00a0 AND I don\u2019t have to do anything with this force beyond feeling it.<\/p>\n Caryn McHose<\/a> is a Somatic Experiencing practitioner in Holderness, NH.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The session with Caryn was pretty amazing.\u00a0 This is where Somatic Experiencing becomes shamanic work.\u00a0 I wedged my self into my corner and started crying.\u00a0 I told her about being depressed again again, waking up OK only to lose it … Continue reading