Written in March 2011<\/p>\n
Eleanor came over last night.\u00a0 We had a good visit.\u00a0 She\u2019s been terrified for days and unable to sleep much.\u00a0 I wish I could do more for her.\u00a0 I suppose it could be her terror I wake up with in the morning.\u00a0 I wish I had some adult, or even divine, presence inside me who could reassure the terrified baby.\u00a0 Instead I feel like a not very competent child trying to reassure a baby.\u00a0 But that does bring up compassion from some older, witnessing part of me, compassion for the older child, who\u2019s never been comforted herself, trying to comfort the younger one.\u00a0 I want to gather them both into my arms, hold them close, feel the gush of love in my heart for that courageous, compassionate child who knows the smaller one needs comfort and is doing her best even though she has no experiential foundation to come from.\u00a0 I\u2019m feeling very jealous of Sue Monk Kidd who had managed to find inside herself a Divine Feminine presence<\/a>, a strong woman of power.\u00a0 All I have inside is a bunch of frightened children. And the guidance voice.\u00a0 But there\u2019s such a gap between them.\u00a0 There\u2019s no embodied female presence, with the wisdom of the guides, but also the ability to physically comfort the frightened children.\u00a0 I think of my experience, painting the Red Woman<\/a>, of the \u201cshe\u201d who stood behind me and loved and supported me completely.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Written in March 2011 Eleanor came over last night.\u00a0 We had a good visit.\u00a0 She\u2019s been terrified for days and unable to sleep much.\u00a0 I wish I could do more for her.\u00a0 I suppose it could be her terror I … Continue reading