(Written in December 2008, at Kripalu)
\nDreamed of trying to maneuver a car in a snowy rutted gouged lot.\u00a0 There was barely space between two cars with a deep erosion ditch.\u00a0 I may have hit some of the other cars trying to get back out.\u00a0 I think they were all a bit battered.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re all a bit battered.\u00a0 We bump into each other and hurt each other without meaning to.
\nOK so when I\u2019m stuck in that horrible place of cold and isolated, with my heart shut tight, and hating myself for being that way, then I just recite the phrases, not to make it better, but because that is what I want \u2014 to bring kindness and compassion.\u00a0 Even if I can\u2019t feel it, reciting the phrases is good enough.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to do more than that.\u00a0 I can\u2019t do more than that.<\/p>\n
Pain in my heart like a knife.\u00a0 Reminds me of Mom throwing her spear into my open heart, re: Colonial Dames<\/a>.\u00a0 So I see the knot: the part that\u2019s been invalidated and feels worthless etc. and the part that\u2019s angry: I\u2019m not<\/span> like that, I do care<\/span>, just not the way you want me to.\u00a0 No wonder I get stuck.\u00a0 I also saw how every idea I\u2019ve had at Neskaya has been wet-blanketed: both the all-day dance and the solstice party, which I pushed through on any way.\u00a0 But I\u2019m afraid this is a big component of my depression.\u00a0 I feel hurt & sad because I need support, I need enthusiastic support.<\/p>\n Vulnerability is another word for interdependence. When love meets pain, it shifts and becomes compassion.\u00a0 Feeling that it\u2019s hard to say \u201cmay you be happy\u201d to a friend who is suffering is a natural expression of that shift.\u00a0 He ends the magnitude of the pain quote with \u201cyou are called to meet it in compassion not self-pity.\u201d Which I can do.<\/p>\n May you be held in great compassion Let go of any bitterness that may have come (Written in December 2008, at Kripalu) Dreamed of trying to maneuver a car in a snowy rutted gouged lot.\u00a0 There was barely space between two cars with a deep erosion ditch.\u00a0 I may have hit some of the other cars … Continue reading
\nUnderneath you have an undying spirit that has got you this far.\u00a0 You can relax in the unfolding of experience.<\/p>\n
\nMay your pain and sorrows be eased
\nMay you find peace, may you be at peace.<\/p>\n
\nbecause you were not up to the magnitude of the pain
\nthat was entrusted to you.
\nLike the Mother of the World,
\nWho carries the pain of the world in her heart,
\nEach one of us is part of her heart,
\nAnd therefore endowed
\nWith a certain measure of cosmic pain.
\nYou are called to meet it in compassion not self-pity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"