{"id":3031,"date":"2012-08-09T08:53:28","date_gmt":"2012-08-09T12:53:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3031"},"modified":"2012-08-09T08:53:28","modified_gmt":"2012-08-09T12:53:28","slug":"guidance-needing-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=3031","title":{"rendered":"Guidance & Needing Help"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Written in December 2008)
\nDear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I just want to die.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Dear Jenny, you don\u2019t want to die, you want a life that works.\u00a0 You want friends, spiritual friends, a sangha.\u00a0 You want to be reassured that there are people who love you.\u00a0 You want colleagues with whom you can enthusiastically co-create things.\u00a0 You want to feel part of a larger movement that is helping to make the world a better place.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yes, that\u2019s what I want.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t begin to have an idea of how I might get there.
\nI was remembering the time when Rose Marie flew from NYC to Burlington, rented a car, drove to our house, and did some intense work on me.\u00a0 She could tell I was in trouble and she thought I was valuable enough to make the effort.\u00a0 I wish there was somebody to do that for me now.
\nWell, I don\u2019t feel that my life has been totally wasted, I do think I have done some good.\u00a0 And I did create Neskaya and that has made possible some very good things.\u00a0 I hope it will continue to flourish after I\u2019m gone.\u00a0 Right now, I don\u2019t feel like I\u2019m doing much good for anybody.\u00a0 Bella\u2019s clearly worried about me, I\u2019m not being much of a support to K and L.\u00a0 I can\u2019t feel any support coming from them either, though that may be just my disfunctional expectation and my armored heart.\u00a0 The people who do seem to love me, Cathy Jay and Beverly Decker, are far away and don\u2019t see me when I\u2019m like this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Written in December 2008) Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I just want to die. \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Dear Jenny, you don\u2019t want to die, you want a life that works.\u00a0 You want friends, spiritual friends, a sangha.\u00a0 You want to be reassured … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,8,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-breakdown","category-depression","category-guidance"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3031"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3031\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}