In doing my project of converting old journals into a newer word processor, I have discovered many things.\u00a0\u00a0 One is a letter from Charlotte (the mother of my ex-husband) in response to the collection of excerpts from my journal that I sent to people as Christmas presents.\u00a0 The letter says wonderful things about me, that are still hard for me to accept, though I’m beginning to become aware of the person she’s describing.\u00a0 In 1993, I was completely unable to take in what she said, and it fell into oblivion almost immediately.
\nFrom Charlotte\u2019s letter:<\/p>\n
So many of the entries had to do with your self-questioning.\u00a0 To me it was immediately obvious that you were intelligent, educated and talented – and extraordinarily so.\u00a0 Besides this, however, there was something special about you – something Dana mentioned in the letter in which he first told us about you.\u00a0 There is the child-like trust and openness and readiness for response to the world.\u00a0 For all your sophistication, there is nothing worldly-wise or cynical about you.\u00a0 And you don’t put other people down to build yourself up.\u00a0 You feel the need for approval, but you have to be honest.\u00a0 All this is very unusual.\u00a0 I never cease to be amazed at how many intelligent, educated and talented people there are in this world.\u00a0 Yet to judge by what happens in public, their gifts are squandered in a quest for success that makes them jump into the latest bandwagon and get caught up in institutionalized mis-information, exploitation and pandering.<\/p>\n
As for being attractive, to me there’s something charismatic about you.\u00a0 Even in jeans one can tell you’re a dancer – in your posture, your bearing, your movements and gestures.\u00a0 When you get excited, your eyes shine like stars.<\/p>\n
Whatever happened to you as a child, it did not break your spirit.\u00a0 What Karen said is exactly right.\u00a0 Accept yourself – it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand yourself.\u00a0 At bottom, all things are founded in mystery – through the courage to be.\u00a0 So forgive and forget.\u00a0 It’s obvious you do.\u00a0 There’s nothing vengeful about you and you are turning your recollections into creativity.<\/p>\n
The real problem is not you but the world.\u00a0 The more extraordinary one is, the harder it is to find response from others.\u00a0 People one meets may feel threatened and turn away.\u00a0 But you have made and do have friends – such as have helped to release your creativity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Disclaimer:\u00a0 I’m almost feeling scared to publish this, how conceited will people think I am, isn’t this the ancient sin of “bragging”?\u00a0 But it’s somebody else’s writing.\u00a0 Isn’t that OK?\u00a0 Please, Dear Reader, if you know me, let me know if the person Charlotte’s describing sounds like the person you know.<\/p>\n
From her PS:<\/p>\n
Also, I’ve been thinking about what Jenny said in considering the possibility of publishing her journal.\u00a0 My suspicion is that publishers only grab journals of celebrities (or with plenty of the scandalous).\u00a0 Still, there could be a set of selections that would tell a story meaningful to others.\u00a0 In any case, the journal is full of beautiful writing – simple, clear, expressive – revealing a journey toward authentic self-hood.\u00a0 The little comments on the morning sky or winter night are brilliant gems.\u00a0 You certainly have a right to think of yourself as an artist in the field of literature.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In doing my project of converting old journals into a newer word processor, I have discovered many things.\u00a0\u00a0 One is a letter from Charlotte (the mother of my ex-husband) in response to the collection of excerpts from my journal that … Continue reading