(From Ritual Year, written in July 1975)
\nFor tapestry class, I retrieved an old sketch pad from Biddeford Pool, and unearthed long buried treasures: the Hieroglyphic journey, mandalas from California, perhaps from the first return to Maine?\u00a0 I wish I had dated them.\u00a0 Also the loom I drew for the FREE YOU and the page about the apollo project.\u00a0 Strange and deeply encouraging to find these fragments from my long-ago self, long buried and forgotten talents.\u00a0 Some of the mandalas are really beautiful, I couldn’t see that then.<\/p>\n
Wondering what is the significance of posting pieces written a long time ago, in a blog that\u2019s about living with PTSD.\u00a0 Like the entry \u201cLong Buried Treasures\u201d I\u2019m finding things I wrote so long ago, while I was struggling with severe depression, which I didn\u2019t know was \u201csevere\u201d because I had never known anything else.\u00a0 I was also struggling with systemic yeast which had at least been diagnosed so I had some idea how to deal with it, and struggling with a serious, debilitating Phobia<\/a> about the noise of local small planes.\u00a0 Nobody around me, including me, had any idea of what I was really up against, so people were judging me for not being able to just \u201cget past it.\u201d\u00a0 I was judging myself.\u00a0 Sometime in this period (late 80\u2019s to early 90\u2019s) I read Ellen Bass\u2019 The Courage to Heal<\/a>, and found self-mutilation among the consequences of childhood sexual abuse.\u00a0 That really helped me understand the seriousness of what I was dealing with.\u00a0 So the entries in Ritual Year surprise me by their passion, color, and exuberance.\u00a0 Something like the Truth Express<\/a>.\u00a0 It amazes me that someone damaged and disabled as much as I was, could produce these little bursts of creativity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (From Ritual Year, written in July 1975) For tapestry class, I retrieved an old sketch pad from Biddeford Pool, and unearthed long buried treasures: the Hieroglyphic journey, mandalas from California, perhaps from the first return to Maine?\u00a0 I wish I … Continue reading