{"id":2851,"date":"2012-07-02T17:38:17","date_gmt":"2012-07-02T21:38:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=2851"},"modified":"2015-06-29T09:18:34","modified_gmt":"2015-06-29T13:18:34","slug":"the-journal-is-center","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=2851","title":{"rendered":"March 1976: The Journal is Center"},"content":{"rendered":"

(from Ritual Year: written in March 1976)
\nToday I felt very depressed and sick.\u00a0 The old fear came back, fear of the ringing phone, of the sun and wind outside.\u00a0 I went looking for an escapist book, but could not find one.\u00a0 So I decided to read my journal \u2014 have been toying with the idea of asking a friend to read it, but keep thinking it’s childish and valueless and stupid.\u00a0 So I read the Mimi journal, Apollo’s book, everything typed up to the pages in Ondine.\u00a0 It was staggering!\u00a0 I have returned to the center of myself.\u00a0 The insights in those pages!\u00a0 The truths that I am now coming to believe completely that are expressed as intuitions even as far back as the Mimi diary.\u00a0 The description of Don Quixote as the man trying to make the vision live in the world, and the recognition of MYSELF as the one I was talking about.
\nI used to find it discouraging that I had expressed things so long ago that I am still struggling to believe, to make real in the world.\u00a0 Now I find it an incredible proof of my powerful intuition, which has always seen the cosmic truths, even when my intellectual and reasoning self couldn’t.\u00a0 And a sudden strong sense of myself, not as a linear life in time, but as an expanding sphere, continually expanding on all fronts and continuously returning to center.\u00a0 The journal is center, because it is the place where I come in touch with my “past” self, the effort of my life is not to write the journal but to learn how to read it.<\/p>\n

For more information on my journal see page Journal Background<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(from Ritual Year: written in March 1976) Today I felt very depressed and sick.\u00a0 The old fear came back, fear of the ringing phone, of the sun and wind outside.\u00a0 I went looking for an escapist book, but could not … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-journal","category-ritual-year"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2851","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2851"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2851\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}