(Written in September 2009)
\nSunday evening.\u00a0 I made a list of dances I\u2019d like to do, and started a partial playlist on the computer.\u00a0 With only a few, we started outside, doing Kos and Maize around the chimenea.\u00a0 More people came.\u00a0 We did dances from the \u201coutside\u201d CDs.\u00a0 It got a little chilly, so we made a new center and danced in the sunlight, finally using Snake and the Moon to process back into the building.\u00a0 We took a break & started again with No Woman No Cry.\u00a0 Did requests: Fill Your Cup, O Brother, Community Dance, ending with Pradesh and Gaellic Lullabye.\u00a0 We were quite a large group in the end.
\nAt the end I felt pretty good \u2014 almost my old self.\u00a0 That thought triggers a cold chill.\u00a0 Will I ever get back to that self?\u00a0 Fear changes to grief.
\nWhat am I doing with my life?\u00a0 Doing my best to make decisions & take action that supports Peace, Justice, and Sustainability.\u00a0 And I\u2019m doing my best to heal from the damage of my childhood, in the faith that this wounded child is my bit of the wounded earth that I\u2019m helping to heal, and also in the faith that my work on myself benefits others.
\nI just want to lie down and die.\u00a0 I\u2019m so tired and so exhausted, and so discouraged that all my hard work has not brought me to a place of feeling good about myself and my life.
\nAt least I\u2019m doing better than I was at this time last year.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in September 2009) Sunday evening.\u00a0 I made a list of dances I\u2019d like to do, and started a partial playlist on the computer.\u00a0 With only a few, we started outside, doing Kos and Maize around the chimenea.\u00a0 More people … Continue reading