{"id":2703,"date":"2012-05-28T08:23:22","date_gmt":"2012-05-28T12:23:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=2703"},"modified":"2012-05-28T08:25:10","modified_gmt":"2012-05-28T12:25:10","slug":"somatic-experiencing-32","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=2703","title":{"rendered":"Somatic Experiencing"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Written in September 2009)
\nSession with Caryn.\u00a0 Went to my corner and cried.\u00a0 Wanted to bang my head, but then pounded with my fists which became a punch \u2014 an angry punch outward.\u00a0 I told her about being OK with things that would have triggered me: the idea of confronting Ellen, and Kayla saying she needed to do her<\/span> grief work.\u00a0 I see that those are signs that I\u2019m doing better, even tho I\u2019m not feeling<\/span> better.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember the session very well.\u00a0 We spent a lot of it tracking sensation in my face and in my butt.\u00a0 Toward the end, feeling really tired, I slid down until just my head was propped up.\u00a0 The question came up about feeling safe.\u00a0 I said I felt 99% safe \u2014 that was like my body was made up of small cubes of resilient material, and there was a little quiver of fear in the middle of my chest.\u00a0 It happened again as I\u2019m sitting here.\u00a0 I concentrate on feeling the safety in my body and extending compassion to the scared part of me.\u00a0 I told Caryn how scary it is when I don\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 She said I don\u2019t have to know what to do, I can just wait and watch to see what happens next.\u00a0 She suggested \u201cI can find something that is relatively more comfortable<\/span> in my body or my experience.\u201d She spoke again of how my body learns to regulate when it is with her body, and suggested that I start looking for people I can be comfortable with.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think this is something I\u2019ve ever noticed, so it feels a little daunting.\u00a0 On the other hand, I remember how good it felt to be hugged by Noelle.\u00a0 I also asked for the baby back, trying to switch to the older dolls was premature.\u00a0 I also told her I\u2019d like to have something to be a \u201ctransitional object,\u201d maybe a scarf.\u00a0 Caryn asked what I would like for the baby.\u00a0 (1) that she could feel safe.\u00a0 Caryn suggested I spend time in the child pose, experiencing my weight connecting with the earth.\u00a0 (2) that when she wanted to do something or express something, that it would be easy and natural.\u00a0 I talked about the part of me that gets so scared when I don\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 It\u2019s the \u201ctough little drip that just won\u2019t quit,\u201d and she keeps me soldiering on.\u00a0 When I catch her at it, can I push the pause button? give her a chance to rest and relax?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Written in September 2009) Session with Caryn.\u00a0 Went to my corner and cried.\u00a0 Wanted to bang my head, but then pounded with my fists which became a punch \u2014 an angry punch outward.\u00a0 I told her about being OK with … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-somatic-experiencing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2703","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2703"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2703\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}