{"id":2658,"date":"2012-05-19T08:58:52","date_gmt":"2012-05-19T12:58:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=2658"},"modified":"2012-05-19T08:59:12","modified_gmt":"2012-05-19T12:59:12","slug":"1-guidance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/?p=2658","title":{"rendered":"Guidance"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I\u2019m feeling pretty bleak.\u00a0 Tears behind my eyes, my heart cold and heavy.\u00a0 Please help me!
\n\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Dear Jenny, we love you very much.\u00a0 We are sorry that it\u2019s being so hard right now.\u00a0 You WILL come out of this, you always have before.\u00a0 Keep asking for help, it\u2019s important that you do it.<\/em>
\nI open Pema Chodron to this: \u201cit starts with being willing to feel what we are going through.\u00a0 It starts with being willing to have a compassionate relationship with the parts of ourselves that we feel are not worthy of existing on the planet.\u00a0 If we are willing … to be mindful … of what pain feels like, if we even ASPIRE to stay awake and open to what we\u2019re feeling, to recognize and acknowledge it as best we can in each moment, then something begins to change.\u201d\u00a0 When Things Fall Apart<\/a>, p 84
\nWell, of course I\u2019m angry at myself for being depressed again again.\u00a0 Yes, that must be what it is.\u00a0 I can feel my anger squeezing my heart.\u00a0 Can I bring compassion to my anger?\u00a0 Can I \u201csoften around\u201d it?\u00a0 No, because I am SO ANGRY with myself.\u00a0 I bring up the picture of Little Jenny.\u00a0 Is that who you are angry at?\u00a0 She\u2019s doing the best she can.\u00a0 Everything softens and the tears come.\u00a0 There there, Little One.\u00a0 You are doing the very best you can and it\u2019s not good enough.\u00a0 Accept, accept.
\n\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Dear Jenny, it\u2019s not that you are some kind of wimp that you can\u2019t just bring yourself out of depression.\u00a0 PTSD is a gnarled, twisted, tight package of energy and its claws go deep into your nervous system.\u00a0 People drink and take drugs and hurt others so as not to feel this pain.<\/em>
\nMy heart is a lump of ice.\u00a0 I\u2019m holding it gently.\u00a0 I feel like Mary, holding the broken body of her son on her lap.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I\u2019m feeling pretty bleak.\u00a0 Tears behind my eyes, my heart cold and heavy.\u00a0 Please help me! \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Dear Jenny, we love you very much.\u00a0 We are sorry that it\u2019s being so hard right now.\u00a0 You … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,11,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-guidance","category-present-day","category-trauma"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2658"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2658\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jennydeupree.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}