(Written in March 2010)
\nPrompted by Bobbi, I\u2019ve been reading Eckhart Tolle, The New Earth.\u00a0 I\u2019m at a section where he\u2019s saying that people hold on to their pain, and I think that\u2019s garbage.\u00a0 Some people do, I\u2019m sure, it\u2019s a way to manipulate and get what you want.\u00a0 I think about Mother and how she would look on sourly as we children were having fun washing the Christmas morning dishes, and how she resisted accepting that other wives might accompany their husbands when they were in the hospital. But I certainly don\u2019t hold on to pain and it makes me furious when somebody suggests that I do.\u00a0 Do people \u201chold on to\u201d a leg that\u2019s broken?\u00a0 I\u2019ve been living all my life with a brain and nervous system damaged by trauma which is essentially frozen in the body.\u00a0 My pain holds on to me, I don\u2019t hold on to it, I\u2019ve been trying to get rid of it (which doesn\u2019t work) for years until I found Somatic Experiencing and the possibility of \u201cre-negotiating\u201d trauma so it can be integrated and heal.\u00a0 My identity certainly doesn\u2019t include depressed person, I feel like I\u2019m only really myself when I\u2019m not depressed or terrified.\u00a0 The story I tell of PTSD is not to support an identity as trauma survivor, it\u2019s mostly to help me forgive myself when I\u2019m having a hard time.\u00a0 Not only do I not hold on to my pain, I\u2019ve been doing my damnedest to heal, and I\u2019m really grateful that I was born in a time when Somatic Experiencing was available.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in March 2010) Prompted by Bobbi, I\u2019ve been reading Eckhart Tolle, The New Earth.\u00a0 I\u2019m at a section where he\u2019s saying that people hold on to their pain, and I think that\u2019s garbage.\u00a0 Some people do, I\u2019m sure, it\u2019s … Continue reading