(Written in March 2010)
\nWoke at 6:00 and got up.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel quite as tired as I usually do at first.\u00a0 20\u00b0 and a clear sky.\u00a0 Puttered around in the morning, did some typing, some straightening up the house, brought in loads of wood, took out compost, cut dog\u2019s toenails (good for me!)<\/p>\n
In the afternoon I went over to Neskaya<\/a> to meet with Kayla and Nick (Barbara\u2019s grandson) to talk about what we needed for our music system.\u00a0 Then dump run and walk dog at Fox Hill \u2014 I just got to the first tricky place and turned back.\u00a0 It was late and a little chilly.\u00a0 Then I went to town \u2014 to shop at the health food store and Co-op.<\/p>\n In the evening I started typing from this journal notebook, and reading a book, Dreamers of the Day, that Kayla had read and recommended. And nothing to say…\u00a0\u00a0 In some ways I miss the drama of the struggle, but I wouldn\u2019t want it back.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad I have the project of the blog.\u00a0 My life also feels a little like the garden \u2014 let\u2019s see what comes up when I stop forcing.<\/p>\n “Good for me!” is something I began to add when I managed to do something, no matter how ordinary, that’s hard to do when I’m either terrified or depressed.\u00a0 It’s part of my effort to feel better about myself.\u00a0 One unexpected result was I actually began to feel SATISFACTION when I did something.\u00a0 The old way was to feel “nobody yelled at me, and there are still 25 things to do…”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (Written in March 2010) Woke at 6:00 and got up.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel quite as tired as I usually do at first.\u00a0 20\u00b0 and a clear sky.\u00a0 Puttered around in the morning, did some typing, some straightening up the house, … Continue reading
\nO gosh it\u2019s such a relief to feel OK.\u00a0 And to NOT feel the old push push push.<\/p>\n