(Written in January 2008)<\/p>\n
Work with Kevin. Talked about the cramps that stopped me from going to Chaco and the idea that a part of me for whom the adventure was too much, too scary made it impossible to go.\u00a0 Kevin mentioned \u201cthe committee.\u201d\u00a0 Give voice to the committee: I spoke for the one who says (with outrage) \u201cI\u2019m paying Kevin a lot for this time, and I\u2019m just going to spend it breathing!?!\u201d\u00a0 But there\u2019s another voice that understands that this might be the work for the day.\u00a0 And a voice that says \u201cI wanted to do more with my life.\u201d Kevin said that was an honorable desire.\u00a0 I cried & my belly went in & out like a balloon \u2014 it was a little scary but I stayed with it.\u00a0 Kevin said something about the body doing what it needs to.\u00a0 Maybe I sat up then & talked about the parts of me that trust the body\u2019s wisdom, and the parts that are scared of it.
\nPaying attention to the tight place in my belly, to when it loosens, flaps, bubbles up with my breathing, and when it tightens.\u00a0 This is my dowsing rod, my guide, helping me to identify which of the multitudes of voices inside are speaking at any time: the indigenous ones who trust the wisdom of the body, the ones who know what I need for healing, the white male oppressors who complain this is not \u201cscientific\u201d, and all the little traumatized children who are afraid of the process.\u00a0 The multitudes grew into a huge crowd with placards and banners.\u00a0 I had a sense of parts of me disintegrating, a sensation familiar from Somatic Experiencing, which I used to find scary, but now welcome as an indication of healing.\u00a0 Old frozen patterns are breaking up like ice in spring.\u00a0 In the crowd, people began talking to each other: arguing, discussing, negotiating, communicating.\u00a0 I became curious about the ones who were on the side of the disbelievers, the oppressors.\u00a0 After a long moment, two figures shuffled forward.\u00a0 Shriveled versions of Mom & Dad.\u00a0 I understood that all the oppressive voices were frightened children desperate for security.\u00a0 I found myself saying: I disagree with you, but I keep a space open for you because you are part of the whole.\u00a0 I could feel my acceptance of all the dark rigid pieces inside me and I became whole.\u00a0 I am the planet \u2014 there are elephants in my bloodstream.\u00a0 Kevin asked \u201cwhat does that feel like in your body?\u201d A sense of wholeness, really filling out my skin, denseness and texture inside.\u00a0 Not heavier, but more alive.<\/p>\n
Kevin Frank is an amazing body worker in Holderness, NH. See his website.<\/a><\/p>\n Somatic Experiencing<\/a> is a method for healing trauma, developed by Peter Levine<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (Written in January 2008) Work with Kevin. Talked about the cramps that stopped me from going to Chaco and the idea that a part of me for whom the adventure was too much, too scary made it impossible to go.\u00a0 … Continue reading