When I lived in California in the 60’s, I had a friend who could use her angry energy to clean her apartment until it sparkled.\u00a0 I really envied her.\u00a0 My anger disabled me.
\nFor years, whenever I got angry, my knees got shaky and I started feeling nauseous and weak.\u00a0 I can remember getting emails about some environmental disaster and a plea to call my Congresspeople, and I would feel so shaky and weak I couldn\u2019t do it.\u00a0 After I had been doing Somatic Experiencing for several years, I read one of those emails, felt a surge of energy, went to the phone and called the people in Washington.\u00a0 I was amazed and so proud of myself!\u00a0 It was really wonderful to find myself having energy to act on behalf of causes I believe in.
\nMarshall Rosenberg says that all anger has a core of life-serving energy.\u00a0 That helped me not react to my own anger with guilt, but to try to find ways to use the energy of anger in a positive way.\u00a0 Some early experiences helped.<\/p>\n
In September 1990 I did a workshop at Kripalu called \u201cThe Quest for the Limitless You\u201d.\u00a0 They had us doing an exercise which involved shaking our whole body.\u00a0 I had an experience I called \u201cDancing in the Volcano\u201d:\u00a0 “We danced, that is let our bodies shake while listening to some intense drumming & other music.\u00a0 I enjoyed it, felt like I usually do during satsang, letting my body do what it wants to.\u00a0 A lot of spastic movements with my arms & hands.\u00a0 I also found myself making a deep roaring growling noise.\u00a0 Then a deep roar came into the music and I was inside an exploding volcano of energy, like a roaring column.\u00a0 Inside it, I was able to move my body very gently, pushing the energy up and down.\u00a0 It was a wonderful experience, like being bathed in fire.\u00a0 Some day I would like to know more about how to invoke and move that energy.”<\/p>\n
Somebody told me once that you could use the energy of anger for protection.\u00a0 I remember consciously filling my aura with anger, and visualizing a flame, sending it out to the very edge.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember if it \u201cworked\u201d, that is kept somebody or something away from me.\u00a0 I do remember that it made me feel very strong.<\/p>\n
The next level of learning to use my anger was my experience with Ingrid Bacci.\u00a0 She said my depression was not caused by anything physical.\u00a0 She said \u201cYour father\u2019s still holding you down.\u201d\u00a0 I exploded with rage.\u00a0 She asked \u201cWhere do you feel his energy in your body.\u201d\u00a0 I said \u201cin the upper chest.\u201d\u00a0 I raged for a while, speaking angry words and pounding my hands.\u00a0 When I sat up, it felt like my father\u2019s energy was like a slimy sleazy coating on the outside of my body that I could peel off like duct tape, and I did that.\u00a0 Then I had a truly amazing experience of feeling warm red energy in my torso, while my head remained cool and my legs felt strong.\u00a0 I was so excited, I got all inspired to do a bunch of projects.\u00a0 My journal entries<\/a> from this time are full of excitement.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t get angry much any more, except in the face of injustice.\u00a0 Then I get energized to call my Congresspeople.\u00a0 It was anger at injustice that led me to join the protest in Concord.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When I lived in California in the 60’s, I had a friend who could use her angry energy to clean her apartment until it sparkled.\u00a0 I really envied her.\u00a0 My anger disabled me. For years, whenever I got angry, my … Continue reading