(Written in April 2009)
\nCalled Beverly to see if she would be willing to do some grief work with me.\u00a0 She was, so I started reading from the beginning.\u00a0 She challenged the idea that Mom & Granny & Gramp had not processed their feelings, but unfortunately I heard that as me trying to justify a grief that wasn\u2019t really that big.\u00a0 Then she said there was a lot of grief and she wished she could be here and give me a big hug \u2014 of course I dissolved in tears and that was what was needed. She said: \u201cYour commitment to the truth and writing painting dancing is how you give your love to the world \u2014 and you do it with great tenacity.\u201d<\/p>\n
Reading Parker Palmer again \u2014 Mary Ellen made a CD of the radio program \u201cThe Soul in Depression\u201d and he was one of the speakers.\u00a0 He talks about having one\u2019s limits being as important a clue to vocation as one\u2019s strengths and gifts.\u00a0 He also talks about \u201ctrue self.\u201d I wonder \u2014 if my \u201ctrue self\u201d was shattered by trauma, then how can I recover it?\u00a0 or is trauma part of my vocation?\u00a0 Beverly said it doesn\u2019t matter, whatever happens to you, you go on doing what you do \u2014 which in my case means my commitment to the truth \u2014 which I keep right on pursuing, embodying, even while struggling with depression.\u00a0 She says that\u2019s how I love the world, enormously, every day.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (This paragraph also posted 2\/24\/10)<\/p>\n
The day went pretty well after the talk with Beverly.\u00a0 I think if I really believed that I loved enormously, that I am fulfilling my vocation by speaking truth, witnessing to truth, embodying truth, then I don\u2019t need to do anything more \u201cto prove that I deserve to live.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in April 2009) Called Beverly to see if she would be willing to do some grief work with me.\u00a0 She was, so I started reading from the beginning.\u00a0 She challenged the idea that Mom & Granny & Gramp had … Continue reading