(Written in April 2009)
\nWith Karen I talked about having trouble taking in the love that\u2019s there for me.\u00a0 Karen said I was \u201clovable\u201d and I cried and turned away.\u00a0 She said I have a big heart.\u00a0 I thought how can anyone love such a miserable blot as I am, and then I remembered loving Ruffles, miserable little kitty that he was, and that moment when I saw Daddy \u2014 miserable shrunken excuse for a human that he was \u2014 and was able to love him just as he was.\u00a0 The only times I was able to feel love for mother were when she said something like \u201cI\u2019m not feeling very good about myself right now.\u201d But she hardly ever let herself be vulnerable.\u00a0 I see that when someone\u2019s vulnerable and hurting my heart immediately goes out to them.\u00a0 Maybe that\u2019s what Karen means when she says I have a big heart.\u00a0 And maybe that\u2019s something unusual and worthwhile in a culture that tends to attack people when they are vulnerable.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in April 2009) With Karen I talked about having trouble taking in the love that\u2019s there for me.\u00a0 Karen said I was \u201clovable\u201d and I cried and turned away.\u00a0 She said I have a big heart.\u00a0 I thought how … Continue reading