(Written in March 2009)
\nI\u2019m pretty badly depressed.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little scary to be so depressed.\u00a0 I remind myself that both Karen and Caryn are away, and that I had three good days last week.
\nThe session with B was perhaps a little disappointing because I left feeling so fragile and felt a little invalidated by the idea of the little girl who didn\u2019t want to grow up.\u00a0 I want to think some more about this.\u00a0 She did not want to grow up because she was sensitive and easily hurt and she really needed a time of safety in which to relax, and learn how to do things with guidance and support \u2014 instead of having to guess, and be scared to do it wrong and be scared to ask for help.\u00a0 She needed a time of safety and protection to grow organically on a robust foundation.\u00a0 Instead she was desperately trying to imitate adult behavior because her parents pushed her into a position of responsibility long before she was ready.\u00a0 And they didn\u2019t help or guide her, just expected her to do what they wanted.\u00a0 And she was terrified that she would be abandoned if she didn\u2019t comply.<\/p>\n
I’m finding Sue Monk Kidd’s The Dance of the Dissident Daughter<\/em><\/a> very helpful.<\/p>\n \u201cDescent is not about finding light but about going into the darkness and befriending it.\u00a0 If we remain there long enough, it takes on its own luminosity.\u00a0 It will reveal everything to us.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 p93 (Written in March 2009) I\u2019m pretty badly depressed.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little scary to be so depressed.\u00a0 I remind myself that both Karen and Caryn are away, and that I had three good days last week. The session with B was … Continue reading
\n\u201c… an awful abyss that occurs after the shattering and before the new reality appears.\u201d p95
\n\u201c… There is the blank, stunned space of feeling stripped and peeled.\u00a0 We are not who we used to be and not who we will become.\u00a0 We are in the terrain of \u201cunmeaning.\u201d And we are alone in it.\u201d p95
\n\u201cThere is deep wisdom in giving up the fight to make it go away.\u00a0 When we instead come home to our path, we come home to what is.\u00a0 You are where you are.\u00a0 So be there.\u00a0 Stop trying to protect yourself from the harshness of right now.\u201d\u00a0 p96<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"