(Written in January 2010)
\nI enjoyed my talk with Elizabeth.\u00a0 I started out telling her how scared I\u2019ve been and how exhausted.\u00a0 I read her my list of affirmations, she said they sounded like Yankee values: hard working, thrifty, etc.\u00a0 So I added some fun ones.\u00a0 I told her I thought the fear might be because I\u2019m pushing the envelope: getting my slide show back together, offering to do astronomy at the White Mountain School.\u00a0 Talking about the slide show really cheered me up.\u00a0 Elizabeth said she thought she\u2019d seen it.
\nI also told her a lot of the story of my life.\u00a0 1964: Astronomy, Stonehenge, Fire Festivals, Folk Dance.\u00a0 How I manifested the trip with Cara.\u00a0 Ricky\u2019s trip and meeting Louise in Rennes.\u00a0 She found it fascinating. (!) It was fun to tell it to a sympathetic listener.
\nO yes, I guess I was telling those stories to Elizabeth to remind myself how there was help for things that I was \u201cmeant\u201d to do.\u00a0 So I wonder about the \u201cglitch\u201d in the projector.\u00a0 Foto Factory says they will have to send it somewhere.\u00a0 I think I\u2019ll ask around, maybe try it myself first.<\/p>\n
(Written in February 2010)
\nThe session with Caryn was very low key.\u00a0 I went to my corner, but sat up on my cushion.\u00a0 Told her about the last few days, about trying to create a blog on Google\u2019s template and ending up frustrated and activated.\u00a0 (How does that feel in your body?) A very fine grained mix of tense frustrated pieces and energized pieces.\u00a0 Then I began to feel tired so I just lay down.\u00a0 Noticed how much bigger and softer my breathing is.\u00a0 I told Caryn about being reminded of Schlomo Carlebach and starting to collect good memories.\u00a0 O yes, I also told her about what I think are flashbacks to painful (probably lonely) times in my childhood & how they only came when I was alone.\u00a0 But I think they stopped once I figured that out.\u00a0 I got through last Saturday alone OK.\u00a0 (Well I did have a visit with Lynelle.)\u00a0\u00a0 Then I felt really tired so I just lay down.\u00a0 I did have moments of imagining a movement, but my body wasn\u2019t really interested.\u00a0 It felt good to just lie down feeling comfortable.\u00a0 I talked to Caryn about odd little things that came up.\u00a0 It was like a conversation lying beside a campfire.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I told Caryn about my feeling that my life had been wasted because I didn\u2019t have a storehouse of good memories.\u00a0 She asked \u201cWhat would the Buddha say?\u201d and I laughed.\u00a0 He\u2019d say right now is all that matters.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in January 2010) I enjoyed my talk with Elizabeth.\u00a0 I started out telling her how scared I\u2019ve been and how exhausted.\u00a0 I read her my list of affirmations, she said they sounded like Yankee values: hard working, thrifty, etc.\u00a0 … Continue reading