It took me a long time to be able to appreciate the things I actually accomplished.\u00a0 When I took the DMA course in creating what I wanted in my life, one of the exercises was the 10 successes of the day.\u00a0 The definition of a \u201csuccess\u201d was \u201cyou intend to do X…\u00a0 And you do!\u00a0 A success!\u201d As a person who chronically labels what she gets done as \u201cnot good enough\u201d I realized that here was a powerful tool for changing my life.\u00a0 It\u2019s a way of building momentum on a project, and it\u2019s also a way of giving yourself a sense of efficacy when you\u2019re deeply depressed.\u00a0 You intend to get out of bed, and you do!\u00a0 A success!\u00a0\u00a0 You intend to make a cup of tea and you do! A success!\u00a0 You intend to drink the tea and you do! A success!\u00a0 Unfortunately, though I used the technique regularly, I never actually felt a sense of satisfaction.\u00a0 I would periodically go back to it \u2014 in my studio I found a little book where I started to record the successes in colored pens.\u00a0 But I didn\u2019t keep it going more than a month.
\nAfter I began Somatic Experiencing, and understood that what you felt in your body was what really counted, I deliberately began to use \u201c(good for me!)\u201d whenever I did something relatively big, and then I started doing it when I did something small that was or had been hard for me.<\/p>\n
March 2006 November 2006 February 2007 April 2007 June 2007 October 2007 February 2008 I alphabetized the Bach flower remedy information, and trashed about 150 emails (good for me!) I still have to take charge of the Charitable Contributions.\u00a0 I want to get it down to a system so I don\u2019t feel so overwhelmed.<\/p>\n July 2008 September 2008 October 2008 Spent most of the day ironing cloth & putting up cup hooks.\u00a0 Made & decanted soup in the evening. (Good for me!)<\/p>\n In the afternoon I did a huge bunch of errands: hardware store for stovepipe plug, post office, Rhino, bookstore, Mac\u2019s, library, and bank.\u00a0 (Good for me!)<\/p>\n Printed out a lot of pages (about 30) of 2008 journal and started reading from the beginning.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a big year, it almost feels like a lifetime since January.\u00a0 I also hung up the brown box in the bedroom (good for me!)\u00a0\u00a0 8)<\/p>\n November 2008 This one was posted May 11, 2011 I notice that I REALLY began using the technique when I fell so badly into depression & terror in the fall of 2008.\u00a0 And it finally began to work.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m able to actually HAVE\u00a0 a feeling of satisfaction when I get something done (no matter how small) I typed all that up today!\u00a0\u00a0 (Good for me! 8) ) And I\u2019m really enjoying putting in smiley faces!!\u00a0 But I still don’t know why they happen when they happen.\u00a0 I took out the ones that stayed (8))<\/p>\n DMA is a course in creating your life developed by Robert Fritz<\/a>, now called Technologies for Creating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" It took me a long time to be able to appreciate the things I actually accomplished.\u00a0 When I took the DMA course in creating what I wanted in my life, one of the exercises was the 10 successes of the … Continue reading
\nGot past the picnic table to the 8 mile mark (good for me!) Baked the flowers & fish for the World<\/a> and made an apple crisp (good for me!)<\/p>\n
\nDid walk the dog to the picnic table (good for me!) That\u2019s an index of how much better I\u2019m feeling.<\/p>\n
\nDave said the triggers were \u201crelational\u201d, that I should avoid toxic relationships like R and surround myself with supportive ones, which is what I\u2019ve done.\u00a0 (Good for me!)<\/p>\n
\nOne if the things I did yesterday morning was type up the minutes from the board meeting.\u00a0 It was hard, in the teeth of that breathless feeling but I did it.\u00a0 (Good for me!)<\/p>\n
\nOn Saturday I went to Agway to get geraniums for the barrel outside Neskaya.\u00a0 I got some marigolds and ageratum and baby\u2019s breath too.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel scared at all! as I have in the past.\u00a0 So exciting!\u00a0 I got a bag of manure\/humus too.\u00a0 (Good for me!)<\/p>\n
\nI had been playing Od Lo Ahatvi Dai to check the version for Cathy and I started dancing to it.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t had that kind of energy for over a month (good for me!)<\/p>\n
\nI took all the tax stuff in to McMahon & Christopher.\u00a0 I went through all 3 checkbooks & wrote down the medical checks & added them up (good for me!)<\/p>\n
\nI got the cuttings (that have been sitting in water for a long time) into pots and did a laundry. (Good for me!)<\/p>\n
\nI managed to call Peckett\u2019s about the holes in the driveways due to rain yesterday in my window of feeling OK.\u00a0 (Good for me!) He\u2019ll come today or tomorrow & fix both.<\/p>\n
\nSaw my psychiatrist.\u00a0 She has been reading Waking the Tiger & was interested in the process.\u00a0 So I described the activation & got a little activated & then described the images of geologic process and it helped the activation dissipate (good for me!) I also saw how the geologic cycle mirrors the trauma cycle: activation meets resistance and freezes, resistance titrated away, frozen mass begins to disintegrate and collapse.\u00a0 Amazing!<\/p>\n
\nI did manage to straighten up the house quite a bit, deal with mail, take care of gift subscriptions.\u00a0 I even trashed a lot of email (good for me!) 8) tee hee<\/p>\n
\nSO. I did all these things despite being afraid when I thought about them:
\n1) taught dance
\n2) took a shower
\n3) made supper & ate it
\n4) called Lore for an appt
\n5) called Kellie for an appt
\n6) watered the plants
\n7) made an appt wed to get snow tires on
\n8) cut Bella\u2019s nails on her front feet (good for me!)\u00a0 8)<\/p>\n