(Written in January-February 2010)
\nWhen I finally got to Caryn I just curled on the floor in my corner and said I needed to cry.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been feeling that urge to cry for several days, but couldn\u2019t seem to get to it.\u00a0 The crying was the kind where my stomach is going in & out very fast.\u00a0 Caryn commented that the sound of my voice was different.\u00a0 Also, I didn\u2019t start coughing the way I usually do.\u00a0 So I just kept letting it happen, sitting up now & then to blow my nose.\u00a0 While I was crying Caryn said \u201cYou\u2019re OK, you\u2019re OK\u201d and I realized she was right, and cried even harder.\u00a0 Finally the energy ran out and I sat up to talk.\u00a0 I told her about Kathi coming to see me in the hospital in 1970, and how hard it was for me to believe that I was that important to her.\u00a0 My stomach felt completely different, both more relaxed and stronger.\u00a0 We ended the session early because there wasn\u2019t anything more to do.<\/p>\n
Exhaustion
\nSo exhausted.\u00a0 I felt pretty lost yesterday.\u00a0 Lynelle said that the degree of tiredness I\u2019ve been feeling is totally appropriate because work with the diaphragm is very deep work, also just being with people can be draining.\u00a0 That was very comforting because I periodically worried that the tiredness and lack of motivation was actually depression.<\/p>\n
Somatic Experiencing
\nI was a little scared driving down to Caryn.\u00a0 I felt that impulse to cry again and realized it was coming from my stomach.\u00a0 When I got to Caryn, I lay down in my corner, cried a little, but it went to coughing, wasn\u2019t the same.\u00a0 So I sat up, on a cushion, found myself rocking and wailing, and then just rocking, feeling the balance.\u00a0 I was having trouble coming back from rocking back and Caryn suggested I use my pelvis.\u00a0 That made rocking effortless.\u00a0 Finally I rocked to a standstill finding the balance point.\u00a0 I crawled around the floor, stretched and rolled, let my body do what it wanted.\u00a0 We did the core strengthening exercise with my legs on the cube.\u00a0 I also did the Bridge pose with my legs up \u2014 it felt wonderful.\u00a0 And later the half shoulder stand.\u00a0 We also did some exercises to help with balance.\u00a0 Eyes open and eyes closed, on a balance board, could use my hands on the wall, and then without hands.\u00a0 Also did leaning on a bench and shifting weight from one foot to another, and trying to feel all the foot bones move.\u00a0 She also had me stand on one foot and tighten the opposite hand.\u00a0 I\u2019d really like to keep doing these things as a practice.<\/p>\n
I was able to do the whole Nia routine, so my energy is definitely better.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel as exhausted as I did. Caryn affirmed that the work with the diaphragm could be exhausting.\u00a0 She also said that my \u201cauthentic movement\u201d was a celebration and exploration of having more life energy as a result of releasing the diaphragm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in January-February 2010) When I finally got to Caryn I just curled on the floor in my corner and said I needed to cry.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been feeling that urge to cry for several days, but couldn\u2019t seem to get … Continue reading