(Written in September 2008)
\nAnother bad night.\u00a0 Heat in my chest and elbows \u2014 I think I remember that one from \u201896.\u00a0 I\u2019m doing my best to accept whatever is going on, thinking of it as a shamanic illness. I have no idea what\u2019s happening to me.\u00a0 It\u2019s OK to not know.
\nHave mercy upon me.
\nI offer myself to this process.
\nAt least I\u2019m not terrified.\u00a0 I do feel sleepy.\u00a0 I think about my friend Eleanor.\u00a0 Fellow soldier in a difficult war.\u00a0 A severe practice.\u00a0 I keep hearing the music of the Oratorium in my head.
\nI\u2019m not going to leave you.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to stay right here next to you.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to do or be anything different than you are.<\/p>\n
Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits: \u201c… some new struggle toward wholeness gestating within.\u00a0 That\u2019s the sacred intent of life, of God \u2014 to move us continuously toward growth, toward recovering all that is lost and orphaned within us and restoring the divine image imprinted on our soul.\u201d p4
\n\u201cWaiting does provide the time and space necessary for grace to happen.\u201d p 13<\/p>\n
Listening to Oratorium. Lost in a vast landscape.\u00a0 Where\u2019s that loving god who welcomed me at the Gate of Heaven?\u00a0 And my heart warms.\u00a0 And cold and lost again, frozen & numb.
\nI have to believe that some part of me, outside ordinary consciousness, is using this opportunity to heal some very deep wounds.\u00a0 I feel like a witness to some enormous disaster who is frozen by shock and can\u2019t do anything to help.<\/p>\n
The Oratorium in Memory of the Armenian Genocide of 1915 <\/a><\/p>\n See the post for the Summer of 1996<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (Written in September 2008) Another bad night.\u00a0 Heat in my chest and elbows \u2014 I think I remember that one from \u201896.\u00a0 I\u2019m doing my best to accept whatever is going on, thinking of it as a shamanic illness. I … Continue reading