(Written in August 2008)
\nI want to think a little about what I didn\u2019t get from the drama workshop.\u00a0 I think I was wanting to celebrate my strength in getting as far as I have \u2014 it was the same impulse that led to the project of the Autobiography of a Shaman.\u00a0 But to be able to see my strength, I also have to see the power of what I\u2019ve been struggling with, and that\u2019s largely invisible.\u00a0 There really isn\u2019t any way to dramatize it, to show it.\u00a0 It could possibly be done in a movie, showing the world from the protagonist\u2019s point of view \u2014 an ordinary street suddenly becomes a battlefield, cruel internalized voices are shown by ghostly characters \u2014 something like that.\u00a0 Then of course the journal entries give a very clear picture of my internal world.\u00a0 But within the context of the drama project, it just wasn\u2019t possible to really tell my story.\u00a0 So I put my own needs on hold and spent my energy supporting the other women and the project.\u00a0 No wonder I collapsed afterward.<\/p>\n
Talked to Kayla briefly about my disappointment with the theater project and how that might have triggered my tumble into depression.\u00a0 She asked if the theater part was important in itself, or just as a vehicle for telling my story.\u00a0 I realized that theater is very important to me, another big piece of my unlived live, another loss that I need to mourn.\u00a0 I cried a little talking to Kayla and then again when telling Lynelle, but I think there\u2019s still a lot of grieving to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Written in August 2008) I want to think a little about what I didn\u2019t get from the drama workshop.\u00a0 I think I was wanting to celebrate my strength in getting as far as I have \u2014 it was the same … Continue reading