I’m having a really bad time this week. Last night I didn’t sleep at all. I’ve been sleeping very badly, but not sleeping at all is a disaster. Erica is away this week, so I don’t have her help. I’ve been alone too much, haven’t been able to find ways to be with people. I’m sure my early trauma has been triggered, and I’m also stressed out about the possibility of further cancer.
I’m so tired I can’t think. I’ve been reading murder mysteries by Ellis Peters. Mocha is barking and I can’t stop her. Almost crying, I went into the bedroom and shut the door. She stopped barking so I came out. She did it again, I did it again.
Recently I read a post where I describe a bad time. It’s comforting to me that I’m not that bad now. But I think I will continue to have a hard time until I know about whether or not there’s further cancer.