“Whatever you have done or not done, Welcome!”

This probably happened in 2011, but I didn’t write it down.  I wrote this description and posted it in August 2013:

I was feeling bad about myself and my life and that I hadn’t done anything worth while with it.  I thought “What will god think when I arrive with this pitiful harvest.”  I saw myself climbing up steps of cloud toward the pearly gates, with three stalks of wheat in my hands.  Suddenly a creature burst through the gates, looking more like Caspar the Ghost than anything else.  He, she, it or they were wearing a white robe flung over its head with eyeholes cut into it.  This being flew down to me, flung its arms around me and said “WELCOME!  Whatever you have done or not done, welcome!”   O my what a surprise!

Written in my journal on August 21, 2009

I’m feeling very sad this morning, and also that odd feeling of having no motivation.  I’m doing my best to just be with it.  It really helped yesterday when I imagined all the Jennys from the traumatized baby to the Shambhala warrior.  And I’m feeling better now.  That’s so amazing!  Yes, I welcome all the parts of me in, whatever you have done or not done, I love you all.

Finding that I had already said to myself “Welcome! Whatever you have done or not done” before God in a Sheet said it to me was quite astonishing.  I really didn’t know what to make of it.  Now I think of the Quaker concept of “that of God in us” and see that somehow, it was the same being that spoke to me in both events.

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