(Written in February 2004)
Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I need some help.  I need to feel connected to you.  I need to feel loved and approved of by someone whose judgement I trust and respect.  I need to know that some good will come out of all this pain.  I need to know that it’s OK that I built the house the way I did — and that if it’s a big mistake, that I’m forgiven for the mistake.  Please help me.
Dear Jenny, you are greatly loved.  Many spirits gather at Neskaya because we love what’s happening here.  You built this building without a lot of concern for ecological principles — unfortunately there’s not a lot of help from the culture — most ways you have to do things (build septic system, etc.) are not environmentally sound.  Remember that what you do in the physical realm is nowhere near as important as what you do in the psychological/spiritual one.  At this time, you have to support yourself on the physical level because you have been badly wounded and need to devote time & energy to your healing process.  Your “ecological footprint” is so big because you need help to take care of yourself.  You need to see therapists, but that necessitates a lot of driving.  Food is very difficult for you because you were traumatized so early, and you need food to be easy.  You can’t make the choice to eat less meat and more local vegetables because it’s just too difficult in Northern New Hampshire.  You are doing the best you can to make wise choices within these constraints.  We support you.  We love you, and we approve of your choices.  Allow yourself to forgive yourself that you can’t live up to your high ideals for how one should live on the planet.  About your house, it is how it is.  We spirits are delighted with the great creative gesture that is producing your house.  It has been an opportunity for creative input from a number of people.  You do not know what kinds of co-creativity and community spirit will be nurtured in that space.  Things will happen that you can’t imagine now, just as you could not imagine the things that have been happening here at Neskaya.  Be of good cheer, dear Jenny.  The work you have been doing has created and supports a beacon of hope for a world full of pain.  Do not doubt this.  We love you!
Thank you.  I’m feeling loved, and warmed by your support.

Neskaya Movement Arts Center is in Franconia New Hampshire

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