Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I’m feeling sad and don’t know why. Maybe it’s just being too tired to do fun things like they did Thursday night — flash mob, dinner at Cold Mtn. Please help me.
Dear Jenny, you are greatly loved. It’s true that you are slowing down, and don’t have as much energy as you used to. And lots of things aren’t interesting to you at this point because you no longer care what the “truth” is — the question of extra-terrestrials visiting our planet is one — it doesn’t really make a difference to you whether they did or didn’t. You have accepted the mystery of life. Yes, it’s right to be sad that you haven’t got enough energy to carry out all the art projects you’d like to do. Even so, we think that you should do as much as you can, because it’s fun. Practice enjoying your daily life as much as you can. We love you.
Tuesday, September 11
I typed up a guidance from a month ago and it’s very interesting. My Spirits remind me that many issues I used to wonder about — such as whether or not we have been visited by extraterrestrials or even descended from extraterrestrials — I used to want to know what the truth was. At that time I was mostly living in my head, and trying to “figure it out” and find evidence for what was “right” were important to me. I really struggled with issues like what happens after we die, and whether the founding energy of the universe was power, or love, or just blind growth. I don’t exactly know when that changed. I think Somatic Experiencing had a lot to do with it, because I’ve been learning from experience about the wisdom of my body, the wisdom of the unconscious, the wisdom of the Creation — meaning all the galaxies and stars, and planets and plants and animals — the wisdom of the “process” for lack of a better word. The mantra “I offer myself to this process” was given to me at Kripalu, and it felt right to me. “Thy will be done” was much too difficult since my first image of God was of the Big Old Man up there on his throne, judgemental and punitive. The Process, the amazing process that carries me along, that brings what I need for my healing when I am ready, that surprises me with radical serendipitous and synchronicitous (are they the same? probably) happenings. I find that I can listen to stories of what happens after death — we go on in the same personality and meet our dead friends, or we go through a time of testing and learning before we get into “heaven,” or maybe I lose everything of the personality I think of as “me”, and the energy I have embodied, and hopefully changed for the better during my lifetime, goes on to reclothe itself in another body and continue the Work. Once I tried to imagine a “heaven” where I could be happy, and I couldn’t imagine anywhere I’d want to be other than Planet Earth at a time when we humans understand that there are no enemies, that our differences can be celebrated, that our planet is a gloriously beautiful life support system, and our purpose is to support, enhance, and celebrate it and the creatures — whales, bears, dogs, spiders, grass, trees, flowers — we live beside. This is the only image I have that satisfies me. All the other stories are just stories, and I’ve begun to know, at some deep level, that the reality we are trying to explain is more beautiful, more amazing, more compassionate, more meaningful, more integrated, than anything we could ever imagine.
I think of Ram Dass saying, whether it’s the New Age or the Apocalypse, “I will quiet my mind, open my heart, and bring compassion to the beings that I see before me. So it doesn’t matter what happens.” No matter what comes next, I will do my best to show up and be present, pay attention, tell the truth, and let go of the outcome. (Four rules for living by Angeles Arrien.)