(Written in July 2006)
Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I’m feeling an urge to push ahead with applying to have an art show and getting an “about Jenny” page up on the website. I keep losing my energy due to fearing that this is some kind of “blowing my own horn” and not helpful to the big picture. Please help me with this.
Dear Jenny, it’s fine for you to blow your own horn. Who else’s would you blow? “Myself it speaks and spells, crying what I do is me for this I came.” Putting your art work out there, putting out the realities of your life so that these things can be resources for people who need it, is part of the ongoing evolution of the universe. The work you do — on yourself, at Neskaya, with your art making — is very important work, despite the fact that it is not visible in the general culture. It is important that you put it out there, so that others like you will know they aren’t alone, and that many things are possible. Do not hold back. Do not let your brother’s remarks stop you. He is jealous of you as your mother was, he doesn’t understand you at all and this makes him angry. He is trying to shrink you to make you fit his capacity for understanding. Don’t take his remarks to heart. Keep on going, and remember we love and support you.
The support of my Spirits led to writing an “About Jenny” page and posting it on the Neskaya website. I got positive feedback, and that led ultimately to me doing this blog.
The Art Show happened in May 2007.
“What I do is me for this I came” is a line from a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins. First verse:
AS kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies dráw fláme;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell’s
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves—goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying Whát I do is me: for that I came.