Guidance

(Written in May 2005)
Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, I’m feeling pretty bleak.  Please help me.
Dear Jenny, we love you very much.  You are feeling bad about yourself because you seem to get discouraged “so easily”.  You are comparing yourself to someone who has a “strong and gay spirit” who can “overcome” the obstacles that you imagine are “so petty”.  Dear, you fail to give yourself credit for how many wounds you have, how tenuous your foundation still is, how little support you receive from outside.  For a highly sensitive person, who was traumatized in infancy, every day in this toxic culture is a struggle.  To reaffirm your creativity in the teeth of those voices from childhood that say you are wicked and self-indulgent to spend time making art, is an ongoing struggle.  You are too often in the position of the one who is pulling the others out of despondency – as you did yesterday, creating a good experience for your dancers.  You had to carry the energy.  You don’t have enough experiences of someone else creating the container, choosing the activity, and carrying the energy.  Dear One, you are an artist and a visionary, you are supposed to have a support team, not be spending energy trying to create one.  Give yourself credit for all the hard work that you do, give yourself empathy for the visions that you are unable to bring to manifestation because you don’t have enough support.