Overwhelmed

(Written in June 2008)
I was so tired yesterday that I spent the morning sitting on this couch — reading The Secret Life of Bees which I find so nourishing, and my last journal volume from Laura’s training.  I’d been typing up & got to where there was nothing more marked, so I read & marked passages for typing.  But I was amazed at how much material there was.  No wonder I’m overwhelmed.  I’m trying to digest/integrate an enormous amount of information, having to renegotiate the wounded places, create new structures or rebuild wounded ones, and integrate a lot of unlived life.  And all this is going on deep in my subconscious, so I’m not aware of it on the surface, I’m just aware that I’m too tired to do much of anything.  It’s a little discouraging.  Just when I think I’ve got enough energy to have a real life, 90% of that energy has to go into healing the old one, rebuilding the foundations.

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