Why it takes so long to heal early trauma

I’ve been reading my journal for last year and came across this piece.  It’s a possible way to understand why sometimes reassurance works right away, and sometimes it takes longer.  One thing I’ve suspected for a long time is that the earlier the trauma, the longer it takes for the brain to recover healthy self-regulation.

From my journal for August 14, 2019

I was thinking how Dulany tried to reassure me after we had got as far as we could dealing with the scam.  But I did not reassure.  Sometimes I’m able to feel better as soon as I’ve done something successfully and sometimes I’m not.  I go on feeling scared for several hours.  I’m not at all sure why it works sometimes and why it doesn’t.  I suspect it depends on how deep the trigger goes.  It it’s very deep, then I think first the cognitive layer has to relax, and then that will help the next layer down to relax.  If it’s very deep, it will take a long time for each layer to reassure the next, I suppose the younger layers may fall into a default of anger, making themselves or the younger layers wrong — I can see that it would be a complicated business.  Not possible to work on it cognitively.  I suppose one could do a voice or gestalt process, identifying each of the triggered ones and ask them what’s going on.

I was thinking I could try letting different little Jennys speak as I did once before, but some part of me feels heavy — I want to do something else, something with color and shape, maybe a real puzzle.

 

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