“Hurt Too Badly to Live”

This is a phrase I have found very painful.  It’s always caused me pain to see the dead animals by the side of the road.  I’ve been in terror of what would I do if I saw one that was still struggling, how could I put it out of its misery. It’s not something that happened to me except once, recently.  I was walking in Franconia where the road runs along the Gale River, and I saw a creature, black, looking a little like an otter, lying beside the road.  It didn’t run as I walked by on the other side, it just sort of flapped its paw.  I panicked, went by without looking again, crossed the bridge and came back on the other side to avoid seeing it again.  I drove home by the same way so as not to see it again.  I think I was a little in shock.  Now I see that as I went past the Police Station, I could have stopped and asked someone to take care of it.

I puzzled over why the whole thing should have upset me so much.  I realize that I often have times when I feel like my life is hurt too badly to live.  Those are the days when I want to die because it’s so hard to keep going.

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