Caught in Traumatized Baby

Written on January 14

I feel like a tiny useless lump.  I desperately need refuge.  I want to curl up and hide and I want some very loving being to put her arms around me and say “there there.”

I look out my window and see bright sun on snow with blue shadows, and it feels so cold and scary.  I wish I knew what this is, this place I am.  I so badly want someone else to come and rescue me, but I don’t see any way that could happen.  If I could just step back from myself and see this person who is suffering and feel compassion for her.

[The pieces from Francis Weller that I posted on February 12 describe this state exactly and comforted me greatly.]

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