Reading “Necessary as Blood.” Reading doesn’t seem to help, I still feel the cold weight in my chest.
“… home to me was certainly never anything remotely material. It consisted, I have decided, in something I sensed as refuge: an atmosphere of safety in the love between my parents. It came in a tone of voice, in the preparation and eating of meals, in conversations during washing up and being busy in the garden.” — Dennis Severs, 18 Folgate Street.
Quoted as a chapter heading in Necessary as Blood p203
It hurt to read that. I realized how much was not there in my childhood. No wonder I’m still searching for refuge. Lynelle said yesterday, trying to make me feel better, “Look how much farther you have got than your parents did.” I think of the woman at the UU when I spoke about Journey into Courage. She was a therapist and she said, “What you have done is huge.”