Yesterday was a day of grace. The night before I saw that my car battery (the hybrid battery that gets me 45mpg) was way down and I was afraid something wasn’t working properly. I called my car guys, and said if I didn’t make it I’d call AAA and have it towed. I thought I should pray before I left with the car, but when I asked myself what to pray for, it didn’t matter! If it’s time to get a new car I’ll do that, if I have to rent a car I’ll do that, if it’s OK I’ll go on. So I said “Thy will be done.” What an astonishing sense of freedom! Then the car turned out to be fine.
One thing that contributed to the goodness of the day was the “Daily Good” which was a transcript of Krista Tippet interviewing Father Greg who works in the worst slum in L.A. with the teenagers from gangs. His image of god is that god is immense, and god’s love is also immense. As I drove downtown I could feel the presence of that HUGE god and HUGE love coming at me from all directions. It was wonderful! I realized that his words had connected the vast self-creating Universe with the god who welcomed me to Heaven. O joy! Thank you!
I accept that I’m not “all better now,” that my days are not now going to be wonderful. I’ll probably continue to have days of scared & sad, and maybe even that hopelessness. When I am alone, and start to feel hopeless I hope the one to whom the car didn’t matter will be able to be there for me.
I realize that part of this must be the lovingkindness prayer I started only a couple of days ago. I was describing the feeling of a day of grace. I’m still having trouble remembering the words, but it happened anyway! Thank you!
Gratitude for a day of grace, gratitude for Richard Rohr, and Father Greg. Gratitude for Eve and Karen and Barbara and Lynelle and Beverly and Caryn. Gratitude for rocks and trees and birds. Gratitude for spring that’s finally greening the grass and the flowering maples that are like wonderful clouds of red. Gratitude for the peepers, for my friendly local church, for Barry and Amy, for Victoria and the choir, gratitude for the computer and email, grateful for the blog. Grateful for the Tough Little Drip that just Wouldn’t Quit, and gratitude to my body for working so hard for me. I’m savoring the relaxation and warmth.
A wonderful quote from the interview: Father Greg says “We’re so used to a God, a one-false-move God, and so we’re not really accustomed to the no-matter-whatness of God, to the God who’s just plain old too busy loving us to be disappointed in us.”