(Written in December 2005)

Ann Staffeld called to tell me a story: she was at Church and a man asked if she had been in a movie.  Turned out he’s a batterer, doing a program, and the video of Journey was part of it.  He said it had really turned him around.  So something I was part of 10 years ago is still doing good in the world.

I’ve been trying to imagine what would make me feel better about having no energy, and having to spend so much effort just in taking care of myself.  I imagined the Bodhisattva, Kuan Yin herself, walking in the door and sitting on the couch next to me, and speaking the words I need to hear:

“My dear child, you have been working so hard.  You are exhausted and drained from your effort not to be dragged down by the huge weight of depression.  You have done well — magnificently! — and your efforts have been of help to all who struggle in darkness.  The only part of the work that you have not been able to do is to take better care of this cherished child, who has worked so hard for the benefit of all.  It is time now to relax your efforts on behalf of others.  You have set things in motion, like Neskaya and Journey into Courage, that continue to do good in the world without your making further effort.  Now you must take care of Jenny as best you can.  Know that we love you and support you in doing this.  Know that your effort to be kind and compassionate to Jenny, to nurture her and allow her to rest, is not different from your work on behalf of all sentient beings.  Let your tired, wounded heart rest in the Ocean of Compassion.”

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