(Written in April 2005)
Dear Guides and Guardian Spirits, my heart aches and I keep talking to David in my mind. Please help me.
Dear Jenny, you are doing just fine. This is another layer of deep old grief. You are mourning for what you did not get as a child, the firm foundation that would have made it easy to lead a life of creativity and love and actions that show in the world. The fact that you’ve spent your life’s energy in work that is for the most part invisible, does not mean that what you have done is not worthwhile or lasting. Your life has been lived with an enormous amount of creativity and love, action and service, all directed toward healing the roots of your own life, and that means healing the roots of suffering for all. None of your effort has been wasted, even tho you can see now how much was misguided. All your hard work is bearing fruit now, when you have finally come to medication and S.E. — as your life opens up and expands you are able to use all that you have learned and developed in yourself during the hard times. You have not yet found a relationship that will satisfy your passionate nature. You do not know what will happen — we do not know what will happen. Anything could happen. The fantasy conversations take you away from the present moment, and your life only happens in the present. When you catch yourself fantasizing 1) pay attention to your heart. If it hurts, be with it. 2) talk to us instead. Look at what you are needing to share with another (human) being, look at what parts of you you are needing to have seen and accepted. Remember that we love you.