For a while now I’ve been hanging out with “lost the will to live.” Paying attention to the feelings but not acting on them. I notice that I don’t have a lot of energy, and it’s hard to summon up enough focus for a creative task. That’s partly why there have been so few posts in August. But I have managed to go on preparing food and eating it (and eating a lot of things like blueberries that don’t require any preparation) walking the dog, dancing when there are people to dance with.
A couple of weeks ago I got an email from my friend Beverly Decker. She was asking 8 dancers to come to her house to do a new dance so Bob could video it and send it to the singer.
She told us she doesn’t really like country music, but her husband dragged her to a concert and she heard a wonderful song and wanted to make a dance to it. The singer/songwriter, Angela Kaset, said she had dreamed it. Beverly went home and dreamed the dance. To me this is evidence that they were both clear channels for Spirit. I wanted to go, but my car had to be in the shop. So I asked my friend Barbara, who was going to give me a ride home from the shop, if she wanted to go learn Beverly’s dance. She said yes, and we got there late, but in time for teaching, and made up the 8 dancers needed. It was a lovely dance, and we practiced many times, each time I heard more while tears were streaming down my face. “…I felt you giving up, so I thought I’d get in touch…” “I’ve got faith in you, don’t give up on me…”
I could feel God reaching out to me through Angela, Beverly, and Barbara, through a carefully choreographed set of steps to get me there, to hear the song and learn the dance.
I came home, and found myself again sliding into “loss of the will to live.” I ordered the CD, it arrived on my birthday. I had forgotten the steps so I called Beverly and she walked me through them over the phone. I had both song and dance back. It brought me back to wanting to live for the God that needed me to “feed the hungry, help the poor, love your enemies, and please remember to forgive…”
Here are the words of the chorus:
This is a letter from God
I know it’s out of the blue
But I’ve had my mind on you
And I’ve seen you struggle lately
With the way the world is going crazy
And I’ve felt you giving up
So I thought I’d get in touch
There’s not a moment you’re alone
I still love you like my own
I know there’s work to do
But I’ve got faith in you
So please don’t give up on me.
I love you all with all my might
Red and yellow, black and white
And I need you more than ever
To bring my children back together
Just remember that it starts
In each and every person’s heart
We’ve been through this before
Feed the hungry, help the poor
Turn the other cheek
Love your enemies
And please remember to forgive…