Guidance

(Written in December 2008)
Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I woke at 3 and didn’t sleep again.  I’m exhausted and depressed and scared.  Please help me.
Dear Jenny, we love you very much.  We know it’s hard for you to feel our presence, but we are gathered all around you loving you.  The cold stoniness that you are feeling is that of a baby who has been traumatized.  Remind yourself of this, and let your natural compassion soften your heart.  The baby is in trouble and in pain, just like the people at the retreat that your heart went out to.
My heart feels wide open to the cold wind.  I desperately need warmth and comfort.
There, there, dear. This is very difficult work.  The baby is not a failure because it is frightened and frozen and doesn’t know what to do.  The baby was truly helpless, and what she needed was someone to scoop her up with a lot of warmth and love, and she didn’t get it.  She got judgements and criticism and cold hard edges.  This is what you are up against.  What you are doing is hard, hard work and you don’t have enough support.  You need medication just to make your life workable.  It has worked before, it will work again.  The thyroid supplements will help too.  Hang on, dear, things will get better.

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