Monthly Archives: August 2012

August 1994: The Holocaust Room

I’ve been converting 1994 and came across my dream of the Holocaust Room in August It was a piece of sculpture.  The entryway had two façades with statues of round-faced & insensitive men.  (Their heads looked like they were made … Continue reading

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Last Day of Retreat

(At Kripalu with Jack Kornfield, December 2008) Last day.  I can’t say I’m glad to go home — I’m actually scared.  I guess that’s another warning to me that I do need to find medication that works.  One possible resource … Continue reading

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Gate, Gate, Paragate…

(At Kripalu with Jack Kornfield, December 2008) When we came in for the afternoon session Gate Gate was playing.  I sat down in my place and began to sing along.  I imagined holding the traumatized baby in my lap — … Continue reading

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Totally Bleak

(At Kripalu with Jack Kornfield, December 2008) At least I slept.  Feeling totally bleak this morning.  It was so painful yesterday, not to be able to feel any softening in my heart as I heard people’s stories of compassion, not … Continue reading

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Little Jenny

(At Kripalu with Jack Kornfield, December 2008) I had a talk with Little Jenny.  I told her that her mother was mean to her because she was jealous of Little Jenny’s authenticity.  That she herself was hurting and avoiding feeling … Continue reading

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Connecting with Others

(At Kripalu with Jack Kornfield, December 2008) Long talk with Patty who sits next to me and was my walking and breathing partner. She was the youngest of 6 in a severely disfunctional family.  She can remember what happened, but … Continue reading

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Help for Being Stuck

(At Kripalu with Jack Kornfield, December 2008) I realize that just through doing the meditation I’ve begun to tease apart the tangled feelings in my heart and am also beginning to feel more strong and clear about what to do … Continue reading

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We’re All a Bit Battered

(Written in December 2008, at Kripalu) Dreamed of trying to maneuver a car in a snowy rutted gouged lot.  There was barely space between two cars with a deep erosion ditch.  I may have hit some of the other cars … Continue reading

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Struggle with Being Stuck

(Written in December 2008, at Kripalu for retreat with Jack Kornfield) I’m having a very hard time.  I’m feeling profoundly discouraged.  I keep thinking “I can’t go on.” Then I try to put it aside and refocus on my breath.  … Continue reading

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Struggle with Self-hate

(Written in December 2008) Sitting here doing computer solitaire when a bobcat walked by the bird feeder.  I got the binoculars and went into the bedroom and watched him walk along the upper level and turn into the logging road.  … Continue reading

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