Monthly Archives: September 2010

Guidance

(Written in April 2008) Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I’m feeling a bit bleak, a little concerned about money, a little sad from reading my journals.  Please help me. Dear Jenny, we love you very much.  We are glad that … Continue reading

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Somatic Experiencing

(Written in January 2005) The work I did with Brad was frustrating — I felt like I “hadn’t gotten anywhere”, but he thought it was good and when I told Eleanor, she thought it was good too.  Basically I started … Continue reading

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Difficulty Letting Go

(Written in January 2005) Spent most of my time with Karen crying — tried really letting go of everything: Neskaya, Bella, Eleanor — I see that I’m always carrying responsibility in some way.  It’s not that I worry consciously — … Continue reading

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Guidance

(Written in March 2007) Woke afraid in the night, woke afraid & sweating in the morning.  It feels like there is a huge and hostile being waiting for me to make a mistake and punish/humiliate me.  My chest still hurts.  … Continue reading

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Guidance

(Written in August 2010) Dear Guides & Guardian Spirits, I’m feeling pretty blue.  I don’t see any reason to keep going.  I’m tired of pulling against depression like a heavy weight.  Please help me. Dear Jenny, we love you very … Continue reading

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Comforting the Baby

(Written in February 2007) Told Karen all about the confusions of last week and the terror of Saturday, and what Eleanor said about Brad’s leaving.  But really that’s all evaluation and analysis.  What’s in the moment is the terrified baby, … Continue reading

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No Firm Foundation

(Written in February 2007) I’m feeling precarious, a bit lost, a little scared, a little discouraged.  I feel like there is no firm foundation under me.  I try to let my weight down solidly on the couch, to let the … Continue reading

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Collapsed Place

(Written in February 2007) In a Somatic Experiencing session I complained to Dave about the amount of time I spend in the collapsed (despairing, terrified) place versus the time spent feeling 3-dimensional and real and confident, he said the collapsed … Continue reading

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Pain in my Heart

(Written in February 2007) This pain in my heart — is it resistance to life when life wants to break in and?  what? Yesterday I tried to investigate it, be curious about it, and it did seem to keep changing.  … Continue reading

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Sadness & Guidance

I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been really struggling with depression.  This was written in July 2010: Well, I really am feeling sad.  It may be partly that nobody’s here.  I enjoyed waking up at my brother’s house … Continue reading

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