Category Archives: Journal

Positive Learnings from Being Immobilized

Looking back, I can see that the whole sequence cold —> cough —> back pain has given me time, space and motivation to see some good things about myself and my life. From my Journal for Saturday, February 16 It … Continue reading

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Siege of Poor Health & Bad Luck

On February 10 I got the bad cold that’s been going around.  I had it for two weeks.  Then I developed an endless cough.  The cold was over, and there wasn’t any infection.  The doctor prescribed an inhaler that’s used … Continue reading

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The Story of my Life that Works

From my journal for June 3, 1996 But the truth is, going over the whole thing in detail again again, writing down exactly what the fear feels like and then seeing how it matches my childhood, results in me feeling … Continue reading

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What is Gone?

I’ve been going to a writing group about loss.  I wrote this at the third meeting.  But it was a clumsy scramble, and brought up contradictions that I didn’t have time to explore.  I want to explore the whole process … Continue reading

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Really Doing OK Just as I Am

Tuesday, January 1 This morning I was thinking about a conversation with God, where I asked what I needed to do to fulfill “His” will, and God said “You’re doing fine just as you are,” and I said “No, I want … Continue reading

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Perspective on the Past

I went back and started reading my journal for 2018.  Found a lot that was very interesting. June 16, 2018 The talk with Erica was good. I have been really puzzling over why other people see what I am doing as … Continue reading

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“Should” versus My Inner Knowing

From my journal for June 17, 1993 Trajectory broken again. My flight of the last couple of days ends in a crash. Once again feeling anxious and scared, wanting to hide. I retreated into typing my journals, and the first glider plane went … Continue reading

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“Bombed-Out Village”

Wednesday, November 21 Thinking about talking with Erica about starting to tolerate — and even enjoy — the ordinary.  For most of my life I was in too much psychic pain, I needed something fairly intense to hold my attention.  … Continue reading

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“Shell Shock”

Wednesday, November 14 My talk with Erica was really pretty amazing.  She was absolutely delighted that I was really beginning to let myself rest.  She said she had felt so protective of me at the beginning because I didn’t seem … Continue reading

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Finding Support in the Ordinary

From my journal for Oct 25 Guy in the hall on the big noisy vacuum.  I stop to comment on the little dog on the front.  He tells me it’s “Snoopy” and his nickname was Snoopy.  As I go on … Continue reading

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